Lazarene Gazette Issue V February 2016

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Lazarene Gazette Issue V February 2016

Post by Rivercastle on Sat Mar 12, 2016 5:59 am



The Official Newspaper of Lazarus

Issue V • February 2016 • 1 Page • Inter-Regional Edition


NEWS: Phoenix Lands in Scandinavia, at Long Last
By Lake Flotillas

The Lazarene delegation on their way to Balder

Rejoice ye all, as the Phoenix has finally arrived in the Nordic lands! That's right, the last of the Sinker-Sinker embassies have been opened after 2 long years(officially). In a relatively low-key affair that took place early this month, Lazarus and Balder have restored their embassies with each other.

This process of reopening embassies was initiated late last month, when Kajan, the then and current Foreign Minister of Balder, decided to pop by Lazarus. Though Kajan's request for forum embassies was not initially accepted, it got some of the governmental officials in the Tiki Hut(our regional bar) thinking, "Why not?" Lake then got out of his drunken stupor and decided to head over to Balder to return the gesture. Over the process of the following week, forum embassies were set up, first in Balder, then in Lazarus. Establishing in-game embassies took a bit longer, but it was still done in the end.

In lieu of the reestablishment of embassies, the Sovereign had this to say:
Loftegen wrote:
Statement of the Sovereign on the Restoration of Diplomatic Ties with Balder

I'm excited by the restoration of diplomatic ties with Balder. My understanding of the events that led to the severing of ties and the subsequent "cold war" between our two regions is that long term Lazarenes were unfairly and illegally ejected as part of a purge of Lazarus by the founders of the so-called Peoples Republic of Lazarus. As someone who was also exiled for not toeing the PRL party line, I can only express my own regret for what happened, and my complete sympathy for the victims of the purge, who found a new home in Balder.

I thank Kajan, Balder's Foreign Minister, for getting the stone rolling on this: Lake Flotillas, Lazarene Director of Ceremonies, for taking the next step; and the esteemed monarch of Balder, Queen Solorni, for graciously consenting to my request for the establishment of embassies.

I have high hopes for the future, and look forward to fruitful exchanges between Lazarus and Balder.
It is believed that further steps in reconciliation may be taking place soon, closing the chapter of cold war and ushering in new inter-Sinker cooperation.


NEWS: The Phoenix Soars Again
By Lake Flotillas

Knights prepare to battle it out on the spam fields

The surge in activity from last month looks set to continue this month, as Lazarus welcomes spring along with our fellow regions. With our forum having reached the 25,000th mark on 29th of February, there's not a better time to be in Lazarus!

On the legislative side, here's what we have done:

  • Confirmed Izon and Courlany as Minister Steward and Minister Herald respectively, with 5-0-2 for Izon and 5-0-0 for Courlany. In other words, Izon's the go-to-guy for regional stuff, and Courlany's the one to approach regarding foreign affairs.
  • Passed an amendment to the Mandate regarding endorsement caps originally proposed by former Sovereign New Rogernomics, after Horse sorted through the stack of proposals on the Director's table. This amendment sought to seek the confusion arising from using a percentage cap, by changing it to a fixed cap. With it passing 8-1-0 in favour of the amendment, Lazarus now boasts one of the highest endorsement caps among the GCRs, with only the North Pacific and the South Pacific possessing higher endorsement caps. The new endorsement caps can be found here.
  • Confirmed Lake Flotillas as the new Grand Advisor, with it passing 9-0-2. Yep, he's permanently WA-immobilised in Lazarus.
  • Recalled Myoria from the position of Court Official, with it passing 7-0-1. Myoria's inactivity was cited as the cause behind his/her removal.

On the administrative end:

  • The Lazarene Awards have been rolled out, to encourage people to be more active in Lazarus. Awards are currently given out based on several factors such as their endorsement of the Sovereign and Grandee Secretary, their spam count, as well as their activity in the LLA.
  • We've finally figured out how to use the Telegram API. Seeing as Solorni recently got her 200th endorsement, we decided to run a test TG campaign getting people to endorse Loftegen and CoS, with promising results. Further use of the Telegram API will include internal recruitment.

And the cultural side:

  • Izon spared no time after assuming the position of Minister Steward, first by moving our New Year's date to the 29th of February and then organising the Lazarene Spring Festival, which took place from the 20th to 27th of February. Expect more festivals from him Smile
  • New activity records were broken in Spamtopia, with at least 100 posts being contributed per day and sometimes up to 400. To celebrate this achievement, a shrine was created in Spamtopia for Lazarenes to pray for luck in the spam fields.

Last but not least, 25 missions were conducted by the LLA, with Horse becoming our fastest rising recruit this month.

More Lazarenes have been getting involved in the government as well as the LLA, a testament to our successful efforts in getting them involved. To conclude, Lazarus looks set for another month of continued growth and prosperity as NS Summer approaches soon.


RUMOURS AROUND LAZARUS

Comfy Chair Warehouse Burns! Radical Terrorists Suspected!
By Loftegen

Fire engulfed Loftegen's main Comfy Chair warehouse in Altenburg early this morning, sweeping through the enormous complex at a pace that suggested arson to everyone who witnessed the conflagration.

Altenburg Fire Marshall Bill Burns, who investigated the blaze, said, "LET ME SHOW YA SOMETHING!" before holding up a note written on a sheet of asbestos. Scrawled on the sheet in fireproof ink were the words:

This fire was set by Lake Flotillas as an act of defiance against the tyranny
of Supreme Autocrat Loftegen. Honest.
RiverCastle

Authorities had no comment on who RiverCastle might be, or on whether the note was a blatant attempt to frame a prominent member of the Lazarene Government for terrorism.

Supreme Autocrat Loftegen himself had this to say: "BWAH-HA-HA! Er, um, I mean, how unfortunate."


Loftegen in the NLO?
By Caldariat

After a number of high-profile incidents within Lazarus with all suspects proven innocent, Lazarenes are now asking the essential question: Who could it have been? The perpetrator is believed to wield enormous power in Lazarus, with access to the underground lair from which the Lazarene Gazette runs its printing press as well as the numerous LLA military bases.

One brave reporter at the Lazarene Gazette postulated that Loftegen could be an agent of the NLO, responsible for these incidents inflicted upon Lazarus as revenge for their overthrow. He printed out one of the Gazette articles and highlighted the following line:
Incriminating evidence wrote:Supreme Autocrat Loftegen himself had this to say: "BWAH-HA-HA! Er, um, I mean, how unfortunate."
A Freudian slip perhaps? The reporter then requested government records on the activity of the government (or lack thereof) and concluded, "I find it disturbing that Loftegen has not had any mention on the records for the past month, other than a passing mention in a report regarding the NLO Prevention Organisation(NPO), otherwise known as the NLO Prohibition Department(NPD), as a potential member of NLO Resurgent."

This begs the question: Who exactly is Loftegen? Before the reporter could continue with his wild speculations, he was taken away by men in civilian uniform, then dragged into an unmarked black van before being driven in the direction of the Osiran desert.


Lazarene Alleged to have broken Laws of Physics
By Lake Flotillas

Ever heard of Schrödinger's cat, the thought experiment where a cat may be simultaneously dead and alive depending on whether the poison is released? Ignis Lupus, a Lazarene, was believed to have taken it one step further by summoning Schrodinger Cat into existence. Rumour has it that errors in the numerous equations used, as well as purchasing the wrong equipment for the experiment, meant that the cat existed in a superposition of the states of existence and non-existence. Afterwards, when numerous Lazarenes had a peek, the wave function collapsed, causing the cat to be in a state of existence.

Rumour has it that Supreme Autocrat Loftegen is angered at Ignis Lupis's ability to carry out a thought experiment in real life, denouncing it as "witchcraft". Last we heard, the wave function collapsed again and the cat was dead.

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Rivercastle

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